If you're thinking about placing a baby for adoption, you may have heard some facts and myths about open adoption. Open adoption is a common practice where the birth mother and biological father have the option to remain in contact with the parents who adopt their child. The parties may contact each other directly or forward communication through another party, such as an adoption agency or an online messaging system. The amount of contact varies widely, but if you place your baby for adoption, you have a voice in when, where, and how often you communicate about your little one.
Some parents mistake open adoption with court-ordered visitation. For example, a judge may grant a divorced parent weekend visitations with his children while the wife retains primary physical custody, but a parent who gives a child up for adoption cannot file for custody of the child or court-ordered visitation time. That doesn't mean you will never see your child again, though.
Here are some visitation options to consider when you place your baby for adoption:
- Annual or biannual visits between you and your child, with the adoptive parents, a licensed counselor, and/or adoption specialist present
- Brief visitations during big milestones in their life, such as their high school graduation or wedding
- Quarterly visits at a park, restaurant, or shopping center
If the adoptive parents live in another state, you do not have to pay for their travel or lodging during these visits. An adoption expert can help set up a schedule that works well for all of the parties involved.
When you choose open adoption, you have the chance to watch your baby develop from a tiny newborn to a confident high school student - even if you and the adoptive parents decide not to schedule any in-person meetings. You can request to receive regular updates, such as a monthly package filled with photos and notes about your child, or ask to receive information once a year. You can choose what type of information you receive, or you can let the adoptive parents decide what to send.
Consider asking your adoption specialist to draft a plan requesting communication about the following:
- Photos or videos of religious events, such as your child's baptism or bat mitzvah
- Information about major medical procedures and chronic health conditions
- Copies of class pictures or family portraits
- Information about awards or accomplishments, such as a choir solo or a blue-ribbon science project
As the biological mother of your child, you have a right to know how her life turns out. Regular updates provide reassurance that placing your child for adoption with a loving, financially stable family was a good idea.
Choosing adoption does not have to mean saying goodbye to your baby forever. If you're trying to figure out how to give a baby up for adoption, you have numerous options. Discuss your situation with a compassionate adoption specialist to learn more about whether open adoption is the right choice for you and your child.
For professional adoption services, click on this link http://www.achildsdream.org or do an online search.